Eve of Destruction: The New Workout

I asked my ENT and neurologist to give me letters extending my health club membership.  My neurologist used words like “exacerbates” while my ENT hand wrote his on a prescription illegible enough to imagine words like “pathetic and annoying”.  Either way, once my membership was extended I still wasn’t ready to return to my gym.

By Land or Lake is the only facility in this valley, and probably in the San Fernando valley as well, that offers spinning and rowing classes.  Nothing I’ve ever done can compete with their classes and instructors.  We do watts on the rower.  (Imagine illuminating a light bulb.  Do you just want a 60-watt?  No way!  Go for the 100!)  We do light boat vs. heavy boat.  Claire will pop off her rower and stand behind you to get you to feel the ONE, one two, rhythm!

I’m not well enough.  Last week I forgot my shoes.  She offered me hers.  I was afraid.  And rightly so.  It’s a tough workout.  I’m not ready, not worthy, of it yet.

But to motivate myself I joined another gym too.  It happens to be two minutes from the new house so convenience had a lot to do with it.
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  That and Sunday child care so Kim and I can meet there with our little cherubs instead of at McDonald’s.  At least until it warms up and we can go back to doing the par course at Canyon Country park.

Santa Clarita Athletic club used to have a horrible reputation for charging different rates to different customers.  But now they say that no longer applies.  I can vouch for the few I have interviewed that we all pay the same affordable price.

It’s a new challenge using different machines, having different instructors and not knowing a single sole.  My first day a largely muscled man working out with a teensy woman offered to join me in my arm curl reps. I declined thinking the guy would kill me and if wanted to work out with a petit sophisticate I just had to wait for my Sunday with Kim.
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A few minutes passed and the woman made a comment to her partner about how when people aren’t used to working out that they seem to have no problem lifting the weights.  But the next day they are sorry.  I didn’t even think they meant me although they must have since I was new to them.

Had my stomach stopped flexing during my arm work?  Did they see me reading the instructions on the new machines?
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  Was I wearing the wrong gear?  Had styles changed so much in the two months I was out sick?

The machines in the women’s-only gym were similar to the ones I had used for years at Holiday Health Spa.  Although this time the gym had the wherewithal to angle the inner and outer thigh machines toward the walls as opposed to the center walkway.  Women only or not, I’d like a little privacy.

That was Friday, this is Monday, and I simply cannot bring my legs any closer that two feet together.  It looks like I just got off of one of those pesky Time Ranger horses.  No better equipped to handle a horse or the first day at a gym, I’m pretty sore.  I’d like to think it was the new machines.  Being in a new atmosphere and all.  What I don’t want to think is that in two months I’m completely out of shape.

I probably couldn’t even keep up with the non-aerobic, non-workout, too exhausted to even walk single parent, Stacy Powells.  (Here’s your invite Stace: Do it with me now, it relieves more stress than a your tepid bath.)

But this won’t last.  I will row with Claire next week!  I know, I’ll use my inhaler right before!  I don’t want to be one of those people that promise to exercise and never do it.  Just do it!  Nothing can stop me!

Of course, as long as it doesn’t “exacerbate” my “pathetic” condition that is.
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