This book is about my unexpected journey into the world of dating after the breakup of a relationship I thought, like many do, would last a lifetime. The women, and the things that happened here are absolutely true. You might find some of the stories and events humorous, and even hard to fathom and others, unfortunately, painfully sad.
This book came to me as a catharsis from memoirs I had kept about my dating experiences between April of 2007 until Feb. of 2011. Dating is never easy and once you get older, our desires and expectations become quite different than when we were younger. My foray back into the dating world was met with trepidation and excitement as I did not know what to expect. What I found, astounded me. Women were no longer the animal I knew from my 20’s and 30’s. No, they had morphed from the dainty, ask me out, treat me like a gentleman, keep your hands to yourself vintage I knew, into…. I know what I want, I’m going to get it and you are going to give it to me, sort of mentality.
Surprised by this new feminine enegry, I enjoyed and yet at times despised this new attitude about dating and romance. Where was the old school values of courting, getting to know each other and having to work, as a man, to get to first, second, or third base before reaching the promised land of home plate? You know what I mean. This no longer seemed to exist. Most of the women I met wanted to skip second and third base and head home. Theirs or mine, it didn’t matter. (Pun intended)
I’m not judging these women as being right or wrong. I am simply writing to the world my experiences with them. Many surprised and delighted me. Some upset me and brought darkness and angst into my world. Yet I know, I had as much to do with that as anyone as romance is never a one way street. I had to eventually ask myself, what is it I am looking for? More importantly…. how do I change what and who I am attracting?
The woman and places the action took place were located mostly in the SCV. I changed the names and the places the action took place to protect, to a degree, the innocent or as I say, not so innocent. In the beginning of the book, even though I had modified names and places, those women reading the book will know exactly who they are.
As a winemaker, I thought that I should equate each woman and experience I had to a grape varietal. They had certain characteristics that I could relate to wine and therefore I made the connection in the book as to how I perceived them. Some were like a sparking wine or Champagne and others to a tannic, over the top Cabernet. I love to travel and taste wine, so my book includes many wineries and trips to Santa Ynez, Sonoma and Napa. All the romance and allure of the vine makes its way into the book.
After the chaos of the last debilitating relationship, I had to do some soul searching and so I turned back to mediation and to God to ask him what and where I should go next. The jury is still out however, as I am in the process of discovering God’s plan for me and my life. However, I remain open to the possibilities which I sure will be exciting.
(Find Stephen’s book at www.Amazon.com under a search of his name, Stephen Hemmert. Both the kindle and book will come up. You can also meet Stephen at a book signing at Le Chene on October 14 from 2 to 5 p.m. when they open their latest 2010 vintage. Chef and owner Juan Alonso will be making paella. The event will be held in the garden, weather permitting, $50 per person, reserve: www.LeChene.com 661-251-4315.)