Using my brand-spanking-new kitchen, with it’s ultra-convenient row of under-the-cabinet lighting, I thought heck ya, I’ll make a chopped salad to use every available counter space I have. Now, let’s see how I screwed it up:

I forgot the Garbanzo beans on the bean aisle of the store.

I realized halfway through the chopping that I needed to divide the recipe in half, but I still used all of the red onions.

I found the red cabbage, that was supposed to be in the salad, in my new subzero fridge the next morning. I’m blaming it on the fact that the fridge is too darn big…though we had one just like it before the remodel.

I didn’t like the “coring” of the vegetables, I mean, gee, I realize the little seeds in the cucumbers and tomatoes might add some moisture, but golly, really, anybody else here thinking waste?

I used a bag of lettuce and cut it with my kitchen scissors. Why the hell not?

Then I ignored the “use sparingly” directions on the dressing and watched my family lap up the remains in their bowls with bread, as if I had served them soup! But, it was actually Eddie’s fault. He didn’t want the homemade dressing (I saved several minutes there!) he wanted his Hidden Valley Ranch.

We paired the whole shebang with our Bison Grass vodka Martini. (If you like, search this blog, I think I put that recipe up last week.)

Cheers to the new kitchen! And ways I can mess it up!

Recipe: Elizabeth’s Chopped Salad Recipe

Elizabeth Mayhew

Ingredients

Dressing
1 clove garlic, peeled and minced
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Salad
1 medium-sized head iceberg lettuce, washed and dried
1/2 medium-sized head red cabbage, washed and dried
4 carrots, peeled
4 celery stalks
1/2 small red onion, skin removed
1 seedless cucumber, halved lengthwise, seeds removed
4 plum tomatoes, halved widthwise, cored and seeded
3/4 lb. Provolone cheese
3/4 lb. Genoa salami
1 cup grated Parmesan Reggiano
1 can garbanzo beans (chickpeas), drained, rinsed and dried

Preparation

To prepare dressing: Whisk together all ingredients until combined. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Refrigerate until ready to serve the salad.

To prepare salad: Chop all ingredients except garbanzo beans to desired size and store separately until ready to serve. When ready to serve, toss all ingredients together. Drizzle with dressing, one spoonful at a time, making sure not to over-dress.