Natalie Maclean, in her book Red, White and Drunk All Over, works one night alongside a sommelier in a fancy restaurant.  Nat is not a wine 101er.  I am.  But in reading the chapter on her own nervousness it helped me to get ready for serving friends tonight at Valencia Wine Company for charity.

I’ll be using my own Screwpull instead of the handheld corkscrew devices commonly used by the professionals in all wine bars and restaurants.  I’ll probably wear my Eve’s Wine 101 black polo shirt, along with every other wine themed item that I own.  I should be your head-to-toe unprofessionally garbed 101er.

So, in wanting to feel, well, not like a complete geek, I searched the world wide web for wine mistakes.

It didn’t help.  The mistakes I found, like in the picture above where the glass is missed but the table isn’t?  That’s sure to happen tonight.

Then what’s the chance of anyone ever doing this?  I realize that pouring out or expectorating is not something the average wine 101er does, but I don’t even see the humor of this cartoon.  Why would anyone spit into a wine bottle?  (Maybe I’m getting too serious.  Will I need a lot of wine before I even get out of my house tonight?)

Then we have what I call “Sommelier’s Birthday”.  Sent to me by a friend that shall remain nameless when I queried him on what he drank on his birthday.  He swears he wasn’t alone.  He does say that “The British creatures have proven it for centuries: They have a seventh sense to find great stuff in someone else’s cellar.”

Okay, the last pic isn’t a wine mistake at all.  It’s a teaser.  You come tonight, find great stuff in the cellar at Valencia Wine Company and I will use my seventh sense to…find my own glass instead of stealing sips off of yours.  Big faux pas there.  If you catch me.