Barry Lancy: I Want To Be Somewhere Else

Aahhhh, there is nothing like Las Vegas in the Summer time.
The endless lines of traffic as you creep slowly through the gridlock on the strip as you inch toward your hotel. The stifling heat sending the temperature gauge into the red. It is truly one of a kind, well, hell might be a close second, but we all want to be somewhere else.

I took a trip to sin city to visit some relatives. They were flying in to make a deposit to help build another behemoth casino, and of course I was bound and determined to make my own deposit there as well. I am a poker player, and very good at it if you ask me, the problem on this trip was that no one asked me. The bastards all just took my money. The dealers all conspired against me.  It was as if I had a sign on my forehead that said I’m with stupid and the arrow wasn’t pointing somewhere else.

From Los Angeles, Las Vegas is only about 250 miles, give or take. The freeway takes you through parts of California that seem to only be there to be used as stopping points to get to somewhere else. As you travel the 15, you will see that Victorville does have an Ikea warehouse, and Barstow does have an outlet center, and Baker does have the world’s tallest thermometer. But on closer inspection the Ikea warehouse is a distribution center for things going somewhere else. The outlet center is half empty and the stores went somewhere else, and the world’s tallest thermometer doesn’t work, because the restaurant that it is attached to closed and went somewhere else.

So after driving too fast to get here, then driving too slowly while I was here, I just sit here with my drink of choice, an ice-cold margarita, watching my chips go somewhere else. I really didn’t need to bump my room up to a suite, but I did, because the money I’m going to win will easily cover the added expense, and besides that I would rather be here than somewhere else.

OK fine, I am not getting cards in the poker room. I’m going to go play craps. I’m good at craps, so I put my one chip in a tray and I go somewhere else.

Damn, I lost again. I don’t know what happened. I am heading back up to my unnecessarily large room, the sound of Phil, my croupier, yelling “seven out” keeps ringing in my ears.

“Et tu Phil”.

How can the number seven be good at the start of the game and win me $10 and so bad in the end of the game and lose my last $74. I hate this game. I am going somewhere else.

So for the rest of my visit, I am going to lay by the pool and watch my feet turn red, no worries and no dealers. Just Captain Morgan and me. I just can’t believe a long time friend like Jose Cuervo would betray me like he did yesterday. We drank and drank and drank some more, and then apparently Jose had to go somewhere else.

What I should do is go play Black Jack, I’m really good at that game, somewhere else.

My tip of the week for all of you food junkies, You can go to any Harrah’s property in Las Vegas and for $35.99 you can eat at most of their restaurants for any 24 hour period.

Barry Lancy is a sales rep for a book company and travels the central coast putting on Book Fairs for a company named “Books are Fun”. His wife Wendi runs a local food pantry named “Help the Children” in Santa Clarita.  They are both also sales reps for a company named , which supplies healthy everyday home products. This year they will celebrate their 23rd year of marriage.