Alcoholics. The dirty word.

I’m watched for symptoms…comes with the territory. With questions like, “How do you stay so slim and drink so much?” or “You’re always at an event…how do you get home?” and my personal favorite, “I can only have one martini…you can have two?”

Okay. I’m not one of those wine writer’s that uses terms justifying or glorifying my drinking habits. I would list those blog names but the tags might bring them to me in wine-riddled-rage. So I won’t go there. But I will answer the questions.

I don’t “drink so much”. I taste wine. If I LIKE IT I might have a glass. And a wine glass is 4 ounces for me.

I routinely share a bottle with my husband. But not a second. So that is 2 to 2 1/2 glasses down my gullet. So staying slim, like for everyone else, is because I eat, and drink, in moderation.

How I get home from events? Whether I have a driver or not, watch me. I stop drinking wine at least an hour or more before I plan on leaving. I drink only water at that time. Before that I have a glass of water for every glass of wine. So, you may see me getting comfortable in my surroundings, but if you know me well enough, you’ll know I’m pretty comfortable in any surroundings.

(I also pour out. I’ll use the bucket at the NEXT table at an event. Or your yard or planter. I do this with any wine I don’t care for. But the reason I use the next table, and the same reason this section is in parenthesis, is because I don’t want you to know it.

If you poured me the wine, brought the wine or made the wine…well…I just don’t want to offend you. I have way too many wine friends, and want to keep them all.)

I can have two martinis in the course of an evening. Same rules apply, for Vodka, Scotch, Tequila as it does for wine, at an event or any time. I have YEARS of resistance to alcohol built up in me so “Don’t try this at home” unless you know yourself.

I don’t drink every night. I don’t drink in the day time unless it’s a day event.

Now to the tough love part. I’ve been followed, on Facebook and in real life, by my fair share of alchies. I HATE it. I’m not here to glorify anyone’s addiction, so if you are drunk around me don’t expect me to stay around you. And, please, don’t expect me NOT to tell you if you’ve had too much.

Drunks are ugly, unpleasant and irresponsible. Don’t join my wine group on Facebook if you have an alcohol problem and please don’t follow me into the bathroom, put your face inches from mine, raise a finger to point into my chest, and tell me what you think of me or the wine. Not interested. And I’m sober enough to want to leave events when this happens.

So, there it is, Happy Holidays from your wine bud. And, please, you can (still) tell me when you’ve had to much. I’ll send you home…in a cab. And our Happy Holidays will be happy for everyone else on the road too.