I got this wine bottle-shaped flier in my mail last week, did you?  At first glance I thought it was a unique way to get my attention to buy wine.  Hard card stock, printing on both sides – though the reverse is just a bottle of Moraga Bel Air 1997 with the words, “What Does Your Insurance Company Do For You? Chartis, Your world, insured.”

Well Chartis, you got my attention but you kind of pissed me off.

I read the flier, and made it large enough above for you to be able to make out most of it too.  They have figured out that if I have a “chiller” power failure my collection will be destroyed.  Hmmm.  Really?  After how long of a failure?  “Days”.

You see I live in an old neighborhood.  It’s nothing for us locals to loose our power every holiday when more than one of us turns on too many holiday lights.  It’s always blamed on ye old “squirrel chewed through the wires”.

So we’ve learned to have a back-up friend with turkey enough.  To not open our refrigerators while we wait for the power to come back on.  And unless someone leaves the door open on the freezer, we’re just fine.  Thanks.

So my cellar is in danger?  Because I normally leave the door open to cool me off while the house is in blazing heat?  Because my cellar chiller is attached to my home’s chiller?  Not likely Chartis.

And one last thing, when I Googled your wine from Bel Air I was surprised to find it worth $95.  You see, I presumed you chose the wine based on one thing: Bel Air.   And forgot you had mailed it to: Newhall.  My cellar is a free standing unit, not a room addition to my house.  But, I do know a few that have that kind of set up.  Maybe they’ll read this and agree with my insurance agent Tina Purwin: It’s meant for a very large, expensive wine collection.  Thanks, just the same, for thinking of me.