Anthony Blackburn: I’m Drunk…In so Many Words
As a matter of fact, with instructor Paul Wagner at the helm, it seems to take the scholastic course of driving down Lombard Street in San Francisco. Once we get going one way, we take a turn for the interesting in another direction.
Tonight’s direction was slang for drunk. Or inebriated. Or wasted.
We found out, as a class, there are a lot of different ways to express one’s level of alcohol intake. Paul asked us to come up with as many different euphemisms as we could, for being tanked…er…shot….er….plastered. Well, you get the idea, don’t you?
Paul proceeded to write on the chalk board, as we, as a class, called out..
A Hot Mess
Under The table
Tied One On
Under The Bar
Three Sheets To The Wind
In His Cup
Feeling No Pain
In La la land
Off Her Tits
Off His Head
Off His Rocker
In Rare Form
“Seeing Pink Elephants”
This list is what we came up with in about 15 minutes. There are hundreds more. Paul then asked us to come up with another “state of being” that has as many descriptors. We couldn’t think of any. Paul likened it to wine and how many descriptors there are of wine. Read any wine review and there occasionally appears a level of creativity on the part of the writer in describing a particular aspect of a wine in which one would be hard pressed to find an equivalency in other areas of media.
So the next time you see a wine descriptor that seems a bit far fetched, like “Horse Blanket”, “as oakey as a box of #2 pencils” or “Hints faintly of the inside of a walnut shell”, take a moment to consider all of the euphemisms you may be described with, if you have too much of that interestingly described wine.
And don’t forget to add to this list in the comment section of this here blog.
Anthony Blackburn is a student at Napa Valley College in the Viticulture and Winery Technology Department. He is also the Student Sales and Marketing Intern responsible for selling the wines made by the students in the student winery. www.napavalley.edu/winery